My love for you is blind.

cause i don't even matter to you.

I practically rot @ home today after a sumptuous breakfast cum lunch this late morning. Didn't use much of the computer today because someone wasn't online, like quite pointless. Slept alot, texted alot, phoned alot. Was on phone with Shaoye. I don't know why but i seem to share alot with him and this sucks. We talked alot probably because there's a common topic between. Well, here to blog to kill some time, i'm still waiting.

i got to realise, you matter alot to me and i'm still not prepared to let you go. i feel selfish to be forcing you to 'prepare' without your consent. i don't know how much you're hiding from me. i choose to believe that you have your reasons doing so. i won't probe any further cos i believe mutual trust is what we both need. i don't need all your attention, just spare me some and i'll be more than contented. i won't ask who is more important to you cause i'm just so afraid that the answer you give is not what i want to know. this is all i ask for, and i'm sure it's not overboard. you know. i feel so sick and tired, for loving you so much. you don't know how it feels cos i love you way more than you love me. (if that applies.) i hate to feel i n s e c u r e, cos you're just e v e r y t h i n g i want.

-/Edit
Right, there's nothing for me to do much right now. Spammed at formspring, msn with korkor, surfed and youtube. Well, i don't feel right now. Sixth sense tells me that clar is different today, texting me one word message "nights" out of nowhere is not like him!!! don't worry friend, SIDE YOU TILL THE END, OK. LOL.

he's my friend, and i won't back off. He is not that bad afterall, he is A W E S O M E.

i hate that i love you.