that'll never be me.
p.s: i know i rock, i know i cool. i know the way i do things very awesome and unique. that's why you guys keeping ripping me off right? THANKS OKIE. ^^
let's take this the 17th year of my life. we knew each other existed 10 years back, when we were both grade 1. we happen to pass 6 years of our lives living on a hi-bye basis, no one knew what would happen between us. we graduated together, but with no relation. the world's small. so small that we were being classified to the same class. i like you, and you like me. we know that, that's why we are best of friends. i don't care about how others look at us, do you? 'cause i thought we were the best of friends. people would say we are a couple and all, i don't mind, but do you? you're like so cool and all, just like a perfect friend i'd make. we have so many things in common. we don't like to socialise, yet we get along well together. i start to like the way we spend time together. how about you? three awesome years passed by like the speed of light, we're still good together. this is going to be crucial, 'cause when we get older and that's when my feelings would spark with yours. i start to feel the indifference, i think i. (yeah.) as cool as ever, you've never denied about how others said we're like one couple, just like me. it doesn't really matters alot, isn't it. i like everything about you. i like the way you bully me. i like the way you attract my attention. i like the way you talk to me. i like the way we study together. (i think.) i like the way you scare me during horror movies. -_- i like the way you tell me what are my common habits in class. (you make me feel like you're noticing me every second. ^^) i like the way you say you miss sitting beside me, cause i do too. but i hate the way you disturb me when i'm trying to concentrate. zzz. i like the way you call me brendog. (wtf?) whatever. i remember that night, we texted till late midnight. in other words, almost breaking dawn. we shared the darkest secrets in our lives. well, we supposed to share our secrets, you shared yours yet i didn't shared mine. i was just afraid that everything'd change. i'm so sorry, i just couldn't face this reality. well, and after a few days, everything went back to normal. i guess you probably forgot about this, everything was awesome. do you know i was lovestruck when we webcam-ed. ok, joke. exaggerating, but yeah. ah, i shall keep the contents of the webcam session 'private'. yeah, the childish bugs bit me. i start to ignore you because i thought this would make the crush go away. i still remember how the way you tried so hard to bully me and do silly stuffs just to attract my attention, i still remember the expression and the kind of eyes you look at me when we stopped all communications. from talking, to msn chatting, till texting and.. till even looking at each other. i'm sorry, i just had to cast you away 'cause i probably had someone else in my eyes. yes, i'm a bitch. whatever. as the saying goes, time heals everything. that's probably true. when i was ready for everything again, i started talking to you. don't blame me, right. i just wanted to make this friendship last forever. the day before, i started reminiscing our past. then you started bugging me about who is my crush and all. i lied that i was a les, and you believed. how stupid yet cute. we were talking about the near future, then you started blaming me at fault for not going to the same school as you. you said that even we weren't in the same course but school, you'll still get the chance to see me. AND FUCK, THAT TOUCHED MY HEART LA. but whatever, i still believe that both of us will drift apart. i feel so stupid tearing infront of the screen the day before knowing that your birthday is going to approach. that'd be the last birthday i'm going to celebrate for you right........you asked me. how about next year..? right, next year? we'd even talk to each other anymore, moreover celebrate, you very stupid you know. -_- okay, whatever. i finally confessed, BUT THERE WAS NO FUTURE. NO, HE DIDN'T REJECT ME, YET NEVER ACCEPT. i never confess in that kind of way also. just a confession. and still, we're still best of friends. BRENDA CONFESSED IN A VERY CUTE WAY OK. HAHAHA.
anyway, i'm blogging this for my eyes. i know its fucking wordy, but really, DON'T READ THIS.
(my darkest secret in life.)
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